2 Timothy 1:12
For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.
For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.
As I draw close to Briley FAITH, I draw closer to God. Many of you out there understand. When the “remote control” of life is no longer in our hands, that becomes the most intimate time with the one we should have given control the entire time. When it comes to children, grandchildren, little ones…why does it seem harder and take longer? Why did I not pray God’s will before Briley was born? To release control to God completely…to prepare and have peace if the “what’s not” happens? You know, if there's something wrong...what's not right (according to society). I think it is because of not wanting to wonder “what if”.
Over the years I have seen strength and faith through many “what’s not” circumstances. God has used many special people in my life to prepare me for today. Many stories I have read and see the same faith explosion that we are experiencing, they have, too! Through this I have learned God uses the “what’s not” so He can be the “WHAT IS”!
God uses the “BRILEYs”, the “BRANDONs”, the “MILLERs”, the “HEATHERs”, the “JAMIEs”, the “CHADs”, the “GWENDOLYNs”, the “AVERYs”…and so many more!
Yes, I used to dwell on “what if”. What if that day was different… October 11, 2012 the waiting room is full of love and anticipation! A perfect “bill of health” for Briley and mommy preceded today! We are ready to meet Briley FAITH! Watching and waiting…watching and waiting… It’s taking longer than expected. Watching and waiting… We get the call to come back to the room. I try to read Crystal’s and Josh’s face and what I read was not the happy ending to an expected joyful day. It was so dark. Though dark, we all felt God’s strength.
As the days go by we hope and wait…hope and wait. Tears behind closed doors; we all have our moments. Weak knees become stronger and prayers become bolder. Thoughts… What if nothing was wrong? Today, Briley would be going home. She would be introduced (through the window, of course) to her huge, happy dog. “Briley, this is Samson, your doggie!”, “Look! Here’s your room! Do you love the pink?”. I am sure her big brother, Jude, would also show her his room and toys she can play with. Thoughts… “Today Granna is going to start babysitting you and Jude full-time!” “Your car seat in Granna’s little car is ready to go!” What if…
The harder the wait, the greater the peace God is giving us all. Faith walks the halls. Unexplainable peace is now read on the faces of mommy, daddy and family. The struggle brings strength. Lives are changing because of the “what’s not”.
November 7, 2012, was when we found out Briley FAITH was diagnosed with SMA. The day that most would call “the day of defeat and hopelessness”, was the day God said, “Let me show you what is!” “I AM, WHAT IS!”
I am El Shaddai – Your Lord God Almighty!
I am Adonai – Your Lord and Master!
I am Jehovah Nissi – Your banner!
I am Jehovah Raah – Your shepherd!
I am Jehovah Rapha – Your Healer!
I am Jehovah Jireh – Your Provider!
I am Jehovah Shalom – Your Peace!
I am Your Strength!
I am Your Hope!
I am Your “WHAT IS”!
Faith emerges like never before. Like a butterfly breaking from the cocoon, but not before the struggle! New life!
So now, I wonder… What if BRILEY was not diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA)/Type 0? What if BRANDON, born a healthy infant, while still in the hospital had not gotten a bacteria that caused half of his brain to abscess? What if MILLER had not been diagnosed with SMA/Type 1? What if at the age of 5 HEATHER’s body had not been struck by paralysis leaving her a paraplegic? What if Jamie was was not confined to a wheelchair? What if CHAD’s life was different? What if AVERY OR GWENDOLYN also had not been diagnosed with SMA?
The answer to that is we would not know “WHAT IS” like we do without the “what’s not”.
Heavenly Father,
Because You are all I need, my sins have been washed away by the precious blood of Jesus Christ! Years ago I received Your gift of salvation so I could understand “WHAT IS” today. All praise and glory to You!
Thank You that Jesus Christ suffered first. Thank You for those who suffer to remind us of You, of who You are!
It makes me smile to know there are many blessings in everything that IS! But, only if I let You be in control. So, Father, take my today. I receive Your will for today. Every one of my days should be a thankful day for “WHAT IS”! So, no matter if the struggle is physical, financial, emotional or spiritual, I am THANKFUL!
I love and adore You! In Your name I pray. AMEN!
Below are links to stories of those I mentioned that you might also gain strength from.
Below are links to stories of those I mentioned that you might also gain strength from.
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