DAY 54 - GOD'S TWINKLE IN THE NIGHT

Psalm 147:1-5

Praise the Lord!  For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting. The Lord builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the outcasts of Israel.  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names.  Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; His understanding is beyond measure.

Our little angel, our bright eyes, Briley FAITH, is two months old today!  God’s perfect shining star of our hearts helps us to breathe deeper, smile longer and open our eyes to God’s goodness and faithfulness.  I see clearer because of the light she shines.

At church on Sunday a video was shown that gave some interesting facts.  It said almost 10 years ago, according to research, the number of stars in the sky was estimated to be 70 sextillion!  Wow!  Can you imagine?  That is 7 followed by 22 zeros!  That is man’s count; I am sure there are many more.  Not only did it get me to thinking of how great our God is, but, I started noticing more of the evidence of God.  I read this and have mentioned many times that nature is God’s greatest witness.  It is so true!  By looking around at WHO He is should take away any doubt of WHAT He can do for me and for you.

Only God, the one who hangs the stars from the sky, knows the exact number.  In fact, every star God’s ever made has a name and every one has a place.  He is looking down on all of them and is not missing one of them!  The majestic skies proclaim His name!  Can you hear them praise in the night?  God’s witnesses are shouting, “Glory to God!”

Let me tell you, this God of all creation, maker of such magnitude, created you and me.  Just think on this a bit… This Creator, the Maker of all this majesty, is the same God who knows us all by name and not missing one of us!  He knows us so well that every tear we cry, He catches.  Every prayer we pray, He hears.  Every time we fall, He will pick us up.  He truly cares about you, He cares about me and He cares about Briley FAITH!  We have an amazing God! 

Before Briley FAITH was conceived He knew her name and knew exactly where He was going to place her.  Her purpose is to shine for His glory and His placement for that purpose is perfect.  God does not make mistakes.  He is consistent and complete.  She is fulfilling her purpose for His glory through her story!  As she twinkles, many are in awe and listen…  Don’t you see?  Can’t you hear it?  His little witness is shouting, “Glory to God!”  Through all the pain and struggles her brightness bursts through the darkness!  All for her Creator!

Briley FAITH, God’s little witness continues to shine in this dark world; showing us rays of His righteousness, glimmers of His glory and flickers of His FAITHfulness!  God’s twinkle in the night shines for all to see Jesus Christ, the message of truth, the gift of grace and to hear the song of the redeemed.

Makes me want to shine brighter and sing louder.

 GOD OF WONDERS - Third Day

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, that on the darkest of all nights, the greatest light of all shined for all to see and hear!  Jesus Christ was placed on a cross fulfilling His purpose so we would have a reason to shine and a reason to praise.  He is our light, He is our song.  Through Him I come to You today.

You, God of all creation can create in us all that we need!  Briley FAITH, her mommy and daddy continue to shine for you!  Give them all they need. 

Since You are the Creator and Your way is consistent and complete, You know exactly how to meet our needs.  Your purpose, Your placement, Your will, Your way; is perfection. 

Thank You, Creator of heaven and earth, for loving me even when my light doesn’t twinkle in the dark hours like it should.

All glory to You!  AMEN!

DAY 53 - MY JOURNEY TO FULL

Philippians 4:12-13

I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Not long ago, I read a book called “One Thousands Gifts” by Ann Voskamp.  In this book she is in search of learning to say “Yes” to God’s plan and to recognize the gifts He places in front of her every moment of every day.  At one point in the book she describes that there is an emptiness to her fullness.  That really spoke to me.

Since our move from Texas to Arkansas I have been learning about what it really means to empty of one’s self…

Six months ago when my husband and I were in Texas there were situations we went through teaching us contentment and just resting in God’s plan; seeking Him and taking His lead.  We had to learn to let go. To let go and let God have His way.  To be content every step of the way.  All we knew was, God was directing a big change in our lives.  Even though we did not understand it all, even though at times life seemed chaotic, we were left with only to trust Him.  It meant to empty out our tears, empty out our desires and empty out our plans right into the hands of His will, His way.

Those steps of emptying came with hard times and many tears.  It came with falling down and getting back up.  It came with seeking God more and relying less on what we could do… the journey to full.  Little did we know how full it would be.

Those steps led us to Arkansas closer to  children and grandchildren.  We knew one day we would be here, but, definitely did not think it would be this soon.  God knows best… the empty is worth it.

Four months after the move, our granddaughter, Briley FAITH was born!  My heart leaps every time I think of her!  What joy she and her big brother, Jude, bring to me!  

My plan… move here, have the blessing of being here for the birth, and a bigger blessing watching Briley and Jude full-time starting November 26, 2012.  That date is marked boldly on my calendar!  How I longed for that day to come.  Granna was ready!

God’s plan, my emptiness…

Briley FAITH was born with SMA/Type 0 and not expected to live very long.  The doctors said she will never get to go home with mommy, daddy and Jude.  She will not be getting to go over to Granna’s and play and sing together with Jude... I was empty, just empty.   Suddenly, thankfulness starts to emerge.  Then little by little a river of peace starts to fill back up what life took from my soul.  God got us here right on time!  I needed to be here, now.  Not next month, not this time next year, but now.  I am filled with thankfulness for His perfect timing!

I walk the halls hearing babies cry… I want to hear Briley cry!  My eyes once again are blurred by tears of emptiness.  Before long it doesn’t bother me anymore because I can hear her voice!  It is resounding with praise as God uses her story to tell the world of His amazing grace!  God uses her to speak fullness into my soul.

Looking around her hospital room at times seems so surreal.  Are we really here?  Is that my grandbaby all hooked up to those monitors?  Tubes in the way of little precious lips I want to kiss so badly???  Emptying is so painful.  But, it didn’t take long before I started listening to music playing in the room.  Music that soothes the hurts and words of hope that calm the fears.  This hospital room transformed into a sanctuary of praise!  A curtain of grace hides the obvious.  Each time I empty He is there to fill.

My “road trip” required my wants to empty for His fullness to begin.  Time after time He has proven His faithfulness in my emptiness… in my journey to full.

Many of you have been on the Briley FAITH journey with us.  Millions of prayers have been laid at God’s throne and oceans of tears you have cried.  Thank you for so faithfully walking with us!

Heavenly Father,

To Your throne I come once again asking forgiveness of anything that could get in the way of Your work, Your plan, Your way. 

I praise You for Your faithfulness!  No matter how much I hurt, the emptying comes with Your promises.  Thank You!

You know I, we, still hurt…  give us the strength to continue the journey to Your fullness. 

Sometimes I don’t know what to say, but, I know You hear me and I praise You for it!

So for now I’ll continue to empty my tears, desires and plans into the hands of promise that will lead me on my journey to full.

In the name of Jesus I pray.  AMEN!

DAY 52 - IN HIS PRESENCE

Psalm 16:11

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Thousands of times I have sung “In the Presence of Jehovah” with Diane and Karen.  They are more than friends, they are sisters.  God brought us together to minister in song as “Southern Charm” for 17 years.   “In the Presence of Jehovah” was our very first song to sing as a group.  Over the years there have been days I hear those words echo in my mind searching for healing… today is one of those days.

Briley FAITH has always had a sweet intimacy with God.  She has such a connection that when I am around her I feel closer to Him, in His presence.  A peace no words can tell, and they don’t.  It just is. 

It’s not the rain today that is pouring outside that makes the light of my soul seem so dim.  I need help.  The words to the song echo…

In and out of situations, that tug of war at me.  And all day long I struggle for answers that I need…

There have been so many times my want has been different than His will.  Especially lately, back and forth with “No!” then “Yes”, “No, Lord.  Please?” then again, “Okay, Lord.  I trust You”.   Why wouldn’t I want to put Briley FAITH in Your care?  Why wouldn’t any of us… but I do struggle at times wanting something different than what You have shown us so far.  But, this morning in the quiet, I heard You say, “Breathe.  Just breathe in Me and I will take You there… in My presence, to My will.

Then I come into His presence, all my questions become clear.  And for a sacred moment, no doubt can interfere…

Though tears are running down my face as I type, I have to say the joys truly have been greater than the tears.  God’s hand has always been on Briley FAITH, mommy, daddy, Jude and the entire family.  Briley’s diagnosis of SMA/Type 0 was no surprise to Him.  So, when I breathe and look at all He has done, the doubt is replaced with peace… in His presence. 

Through His love the Lord provided a place for us to rest.  A place to find the answers in the hours of distress...

 

The answers to my questions are all around.  God has used our little darlin’ to share Him in such a way that people are listening.  There are so many answers right in front of me!  Here are a few. 

Answer…  The alcoholic who doesn’t go to church read the updates and saw great faith!  He knew that was for him, too!  He prayed and asked Jesus into his heart! 

Answer… The mother of four, who was struggling with hard decisions to make, took a step of faith because of seeing the faith displayed throughout Briley’s journey.

Answer… A stranger who had been reading about Briley somehow, shows up at a church/dedication service for her that was held at the hospital atrium.  His wife was in a coma at a different hospital.  He needed to draw strength from the faith he had already seen.

Answer… I have changed.

There is never any reason to give up in despair.  Just slip away and breathe His name.  He will surely meet you there.

Sitting alone at home, in the quiet, my head is down in defeat.  As each day passes, the door to Briley FAITH’s hospital room seems heavier and harder to close when I leave.  I even find myself walking slower down the halls of the hospital.  But then, I remember that song I used to sing.  It tells me to not give up!  To call upon His name and He will meet me wherever I am!  And then…

Realizing I’m not alone, my head lifts up as I say, “Jesus”.  As I’m slipping out of that hospital room and walking those halls, my heart whispers, “Jesus” and at that very moment He gives me what I need. 

In the presence of Jehovah, God Almighty, Prince of Peace.  Troubles vanish, hearts are mended in the presence of the King.

On my knees at my bedside, driving down the interstate, sitting in the chapel, or just in my thoughts sitting in Briley’s room; when I breathe Him in and enter into His presence, teardrop after teardrop is turned into joy. 

He wants to turn your tears into joy, too.  Just speak His name and He will meet you there.

Heavenly Father,

I know the only way I can come into Your presence is to come through the precious blood of Your only begotten Son, Jesus Christ.  Here I am.  Through that blood, asking forgiveness and just wanting to be with You.  I need You!  We need You!

All glory and praise to You!  Our healer of hearts!  Mender of brokenness!  You are all we need!  Please let us sit at Your feet!

Briley FAITH has brought so much more joy than tears!  We owe that all to You, our Lord and Savior!  We know she is in Your presence each and every day.  Thank You for giving her to us as a reflection of You.  You are Jehovah!  Jehovah Rapha, our Healer!  We know a healing is on the way for Briley!

Thank You for showing us who You are through Briley FAITH!  Thank You for always having the answers.  All we have to do is seek You… to be in Your presence.

In Your holy name I pray.  AMEN!

IN THE PRESENCE OF JEHOVAH - THE MARTINS

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

DAY 51 - LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

Exodus 33:17-22

So the Lord said to Moses, “I will also do this thing that you have spoken; for you have found grace in My sight, and I know you by name.”  And he said, “Please, show me Your glory.”   Then He said, “I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.”  But He said, “You cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me, and live.”  And the Lord said, “Here is a place by Me, and you shall stand on the rock.  So it shall be, while My glory passes by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock, and will cover you with My hand while I pass by.

On Tuesday, December 11, 2012, Briley FAITH will be two months old.  As many have mentioned, her entire life has been committed to the Lord.  She is center stage sharing His message of hope, peace, and life everlasting.  Flashes from cameras, news coverage, her story in print and saturating the internet; all giving us a glimpse of God’s glory!

LIGHTS!

When lights flash from cameras, Briley eyes may close. If a light turns on in the room mommy and daddy shield her eyes with their hand.  The light is too bright for her.

Although the light is too bright for her, the light she shines has illuminated throughout the world.

Have you ever wondered how that day will really be?  You know, when the Lord returns in all His glory?  I believe His glory will shine so bright that we cannot open our eyes to see. 

CAMERA!

When Moses was on Mount Sinai he said to the Lord, “If I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight…” (Exodus 33:13)

It is very evident Briley FAITH’s story is being used by God.  He has consistently shown the way and I have no doubt she has found grace in His sight.  My little granddaughter, Briley FAITH, is only almost two months old and has reached thousands of souls and has shared the gospel more than I at age 51.

As God looks down on my life I wonder what He sees.  Am I giving others a glimpse of His glory?  Is He center stage in my life?  Oh, when I look at my life I have to shamefully shake my head “No”.   Many times, I know, His message has been upstaged by my agenda, selfishness and pride.  Briley FAITH has helped me to realize that if I am going to make His message center stage, I have to first get out of the way.  It hurts deeply that it took my precious granddaughter to shed light on where my life is staged and what needed to change.  Oh, how it hurts…  But, I am thankful that He is FAITHful.

ACTION!

I want my light to be as bright as Briley’s is!  It must be!  It is the purpose for all of God’s children.  He has a plan; a script for all of us!  If our life continues to be impromptu the real message does not get out.  The world is our audience.  They are waiting to see if there is joy in the sadness.  They are waiting to hear the message from the misery.  If we stick to the script they will see glimpses of God’s glory and we will find grace in His sight.

The world’s camera is always rolling.  The message we give is our choice.   Then, that day will come when God will return in all His glory... THE FINAL TAKE.

Heavenly Father,

Let Your glory reign!  I pray, I remove myself daily and let others see glimpses of You! 

Thank You for using Briley FAITH to illuminate my darkness.  To look at myself, my purpose and Your way.   She is so dear to me and I know she is dear to You.

Oh Father, I am so sorry it takes my precious granddaughter to show me I’ve got to change!  So, so, sorry! 

Help us all, Lord!  Not to just change today, but, also in all of our tomorrows!  Time is short and the world needs a different message!  They need YOU!

Comfort our little one as she continues to allow You to be center stage.

Through the blood of Jesus I come asking forgiveness.  AMEN!

DAY 50 - UNEXPLAINABLE FAITH, UNINTERRUPTED LOVE, UNSPEAKABLE JOY!

James 1:2-6

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

Each time I enter through the sliding glass doors at the Children’s Hospital to see Briley FAITH, I’ve noticed lately that I stand taller.  Shoulders back, marching down the halls… I talk to the Lord for He is my strength.  I am prepared now to walk into the NICU doors to the room at the very end of that hall, with a strength I want my children to be able to draw from.  Yes, they can receive the same that I do, but, sometimes God uses us for others. 

Just like the times I was weak, I drew strength from seeing Josh’s and Crystal’s faith.  By grace through faith we are saved.  Once we have received God’s gift of grace through faith, we can all be used and walk by faith.  Even in the most difficult times of our life, because of Christ, we have a faith that others might not understand… unexplainable faith.  

Several of us were at the hospital yesterday visiting.  As I sat back and watched, I could see the same love that I feel when I talk to Briley… when I tenderly touch her hands or kiss her tiny fingers.  That same love, when singing a song to her and not realizing other people might be listening.  Caught up in the love Briley FAITH brings. When I am with her in the crowded room, it feels as if it is just us two in this bubble of uninterrupted love.  That is how Christ’s love is for us.  A never ending… uninterrupted love.

There has always been beautiful praise music playing in Briley’s room.  Last night her mommy put on a new Christmas CD and it was playing a song that has recently become one of my favorites.  It is one we all know called “Joy to the World”.  But, in this version there is a part in the song that talks about this unspeakable joy…

Joy, unspeakable joy

An overflowing well, no tongue can tell!

Joy, unspeakable joy

Rises in my soul, never lets me go!

(a link to this song is attached below)

Today has brought in a morning of thankfulness!  Thankful because through this trial, Christ has given us His all!  The unexplainable faith, uninterrupted love, and unspeakable joy!  The only way to have it all is to know Christ, the Giver of all. 

When I laid my head down to sleep last night, that song was playing for me in my mind.  I awoke to it still playing over and over again.  My heart plugs in a video… My soul watches…

Josh and Crystal hand in hand walking down the hall… many worshipping together in the atrium… praying for others in the hospital waiting room… Updates from mommy about Briley FAITH bring strength to others… UNEXPLAINABLE FAITH.

Big brother, Jude, passionately reading a book to his baby sister, like I’ve never heard him before… grandparents kissing tiny fingers… Eyes beholding such beauty and grace, not wanting to look away… UNINTERRUPTED LOVE.

Decorative lanterns hanging from Briley’s ceiling, remnants of the mommy/daughter day… Josh shedding tears of gratefulness during local news interview… A phone call from someone who was saved from God using Briley’s story, now knows this joy…  Jesus Christ hanging on an old rugged tree, rises from the grave and is here for us today… UNSPEAKABLE JOY.

Heavenly Father,

This smile on my face feels so much better than the salt I have tasted from the tears I have cried.  All glory goes to You for this!  It is so true there are no words for Your faithfulness, Your love, and the joy that You give!  I am so grateful to You!  I humbly come to You through the blood of Jesus Christ!  I want all Your joy! 

Thank You for being a constant in my life even if I step away at times.  Thank You for being a constant for Briley FAITH, Josh, Crystal and Jude.  Thank You for the constant You are in our family.  Without You we would not know the depths of faith, love and joy You bring.  Without You we would not be complete. 

Your will, Your way…  For our joy and Your glory.  AMEN!

  

Joy to the World (Unspeakable Joy) - Chris Tomlin

DAY 49 - MY HEART'S DESIRE

Psalm 20:4

May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your purpose.

A Poem For Briley FAITH

My Heart’s Desire

I want to hold you from evening till dawn;

to look into your eyes and listen all night long.

To listen again and again to the story you share

of God’s amazing grace and how much He cares!

When our eyes lock or yours dance to my voice

Peace enters my heart, a time to rejoice!

Praising together for all God has done

in using you to glorify the One!

I pray my eyes speak as loudly as your eyes do

Showing my love and that God’s word is true;

and that my actions display a spirit so sweet,

the same I feel when you are with me.

Can you hear what my heart is saying when I am near?

Such a love for you!  Does it speak loud and clear?

When I hold you in my arms I hope you can see

that the smile on my face is the joy that you bring!

Every time I look down on your beautiful face

I know you are God’s gift, a testament of faith.

 So much goodness I see when your eyes speak;

Is that what you hear when you look back at me?

So, my angel, my princess, my precious darling

My heart’s desire is

I’ve given you the same as you continue to give me.

With all my love, Granna

This poem and this blog is a voice for many.  I'm only the one who types.  If you could all be around the other grandparents; PawPaw, Boompa, Mimi, Pops and Idgie you would see that their hearts speak the same.

Briley's mommy, daddy and big brother also have shown the world their heart is a heart for God. 

Briley FAITH’s heart’s desire has been evident since the day she was born.  The desire to fulfill the purpose God has given her.  She has displayed strength, endurance, boldness and FAITHfulness to His calling.

That is God’s desire for us all. 

Heavenly Father,

You are my heart’s desire but I know many times it has not been evident to others.  Forgive me.  I know it is Your desire that I live according to Your purpose for me.  I pray I do so.

I’m humbled at seeing the work that’s been done through Briley FAITH, without one word.  I have a voice and the same message she has shared; I pray I am faithful to Your calling.

Your will, Your way, Your purpose is my desire.  My desire for Briley FAITH and my desire for me.

Through the blood of Jesus Christ I come.  AMEN!

DAY 48 - ARE THEY CRYING FOR YOU?

John 11:35

Jesus wept.

Today, my tears flow differently…not from just my heart, but they are channeling out from the depths of my soul.  Coming from a place where you feel the tears more than see them.  Aching and longing…

The Briley FAITH journey has been full of both sadness and rejoicing.  The “mother thoughts” I am having today are reflecting on tears I’ve seen Josh and Crystal shed… on the decisions they’ve had to make as her parents… the news they’ve had to endure.  Sometimes I want to scream, “It’s just not fair!  Why do they have to go through this?  Why can’t I go through something in place of their trial?  Lord, give it to me, please!”  Then I regroup and rest… breathe and be still… and keep walking in faith.  You see, the strength God gives surpasses the tears I cry.  God has shown us far too much to ever doubt His plan.  So, I just tossed that burden back to Him.  Josh, Crystal and Jude will be fine.  We will all be fine.  But still, there is this ache in my soul that is different from those tears.  Searching… why the tears?

Most people know that the shortest verse in the bible is “Jesus wept.”  As the teardrops rolled down my face, I thought about when Jesus cried and told myself “It’s okay to cry.  Jesus did.”  Well, then it got me thinking about that verse.  Why did He mourn for Lazarus who He knew He was going to raise from the dead?  I know Jesus loved him, but, he knew Lazarus was going to be just fine.  So, why did He cry?  Through my read, I realized all around Jesus was unbelief!  His disciples misunderstood Him, Mary and Martha, Lazarus’ sisters, were upset because Jesus did not get there soon enough to keep their brother from dying; no one believed what Jesus was telling them… that He who is life is the One who gives life!  Jesus wept because no one got it!  He was troubled because of their unbelief. 

It was then I realized why there are tears stirring in my soul…

Briley FAITH’s story has been heard by thousands.  The story of faith, the story of God’s grace… that you can have eternal life if you just repent and believe!  Time and time again someone is hearing the story!  This blog is reaching thousands and I rejoice.  But, I also cry for those who read and still don’t believe.  So many stories from family and friends have been told of God’s faithfulness and are ignored.  Even the recent news coverage on Briley had parts cut out where Josh shared about Christ and all HE has done!  What’s wrong?  They just don’t get it!  And that makes me cry…

It makes me cry because we have a Savior who gave His life for me and for you!  A Savior who’s love never ends and His grace covers all sin!  Still people are deaf to His plea to come.   I cry because my granddaughter, Briley FAITH, is telling the greatest story of all and suffering through it and I know there are some out there that are not listening.  

But, you know, Jesus did not give up because of unbelief!  He knew one day I and others would believe!  Briley FAITH’s story will continue on because there are those who WILL BELIEVE!

Over the years I’ve seen families on their knees shedding tears for their loved ones to believe.  I've even seen a teardrop seep from the corners of Briley's eyes.  I wonder if she is crying for those who aren't believing?  I also think there are teardrops in heaven because of unbelief.  So, I guess that just leaves me with one question.  Are they crying for you?

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You that You hear our prayers!  I come to You through the blood sacrifice that is so precious to me!  My heart is so dark and You love me, still. You amaze me! 

I am so thankful You respond to our cries!  You hear all those souls out there right now that are crying for You!  Who believe You are their only hope!  There are many who want to serve You more who are finally saying “Yes, Lord!”  Praise Your name! 

Our cries to You are tears of thankfulness for all You have done and will continue to do through Briley FAITH!  We can only be grateful.  We still believe You can hand Briley a miracle.  Your will is perfect.  Your way is grace.

May I always have a stirring in my soul for those who do not believe.  To always be available to tell Your story. 

In Jesus’ name I pray.  AMEN!

Link to: Briley FAITH Updates