Monday, January 1, 2018

WATCHING FOR A BOOK IN 2018!!  God is good!  Happy New Year!!!

Friday, August 12, 2016


I want to thank you all who have followed and read this blog I started in 2012 about my granddaughter, Briley FAITH.  Her name was perfectly selected because it definitely has been a journey of FAITH!  We are now in 84 countries spreading hope to all!

This is a not the normal blog but a request from me to you.  The month of August is SMA Awareness Month.  SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) is the disease that took the life of my granddaughter.  In memory of Briley Faith and others who have suffered with the terrible disease, will you please join us in a candle lighting ceremony around the world?  It will be tomorrow, Saturday, August 12, 2016 at 8pm CST.  If you are in another country and your days are different please feel free to have your candle lighting anytime this month.  PLEASE tag us on your picture at #FAITHforacure.

Thank you so much and may God keep you strong and may you feel the peace that only He can give.



Saturday, February 27, 2016


If I did today what I did for those sixty-one days… does fear lead to faith, tragedy to trust, helplessness to hope?

My morning would be peaceful because of the assurance that God was in control.  Thoughts of you, my dear Briley FAITH would bring tears, of course, that’s just how it is; you are my granddaughter.  At that time you were in the hospital never to reside in your earthly home.  But, your own little room at home was so beautiful with details of love placed by mommy, daddy and big brother, Jude.  We accepted the fact the only earthly room you would have would be at Children’s Hospital.  So, the same was done there… every detail was with love through cards, prayers, encouraging words, visits.  Every person who entered your room entered with love and left with much more.  I know for me, I left not only with a greater love for you, but a greater love for Christ.  I miss it.  So, I say to myself, today “What do I need to do to return to that total surrendered, unhindered commitment and love for Christ?”  The answer, self-examination.  It never was Christ leaving me; He was always there, He IS here with me… I left.  Of course, you know all that.  I realize by allowing in self-doubt in what I can do, by allowing distractions and even pride cause gaps from glory; His glory.

My days then…
In my little red, two door Saturn I head to the hospital and some days it’s quiet communication WITH God.  Other days the music is cranked up and I’m singing praises TO God.  Then there are times I’m reflecting on the proven power OF God.  HE was a constant.  I lived in His presence, danced in His praises and counted on His promises.

Walking the halls of the hospital to your room, or in the waiting room, I saw many who also had a heavy heart.  While praying for them I hung on to “My yoke is easy and my burden’s light.”; a promise.  

Oh I could not wait to enter your room and see what God had to say to me through your precious eyes.  You were so attentive and I to you because it was God speaking.  In this self-examination I must realize He’s still speaking.  You see when you left, so did my realization of the power of God living within me.  I became self-reliant and therefore the gap began.  My doubt became Satan’s tool.  This doubt in my abilities shut down my capabilities in possibilities through God; His will, my calling.  I am now awake to that power within!  It’s not me, it never was me, it’s Him, His power and His glory.  Doubt erased!

Leaving you each day was hard yet not dark.  Even in my drive back home I recognized a keen awareness of God’s presence in my surroundings; not only while with you, but everywhere!  In His presence my heart cried for several reasons.  Tears of sadness, thankfulness, humbleness… all flowed to the hand of God catching them and making life beautiful.

During those sixty-one days, once entering my home God’s presence never left because He lives IN me.  I, WE, would sit at the computer…He begins to write through me, His will, my calling.  Words flowed because there was no gap, no distractions, no doubt, “no self”.  Many times I walked away in tears praying for God to use me, use those words.  I had faith in Him and not myself.  The gap must be closed for His will to flow.

Briley FAITH, my precious granddaughter, I’m more thankful than thankful could ever be for you and those sixty-one days; your sacrifice, your willingness to let God work, your total surrender, even life.  Again, God used you for me.  I needed this dose; this face-off with “self”.

I need to live each day as if it were one of the sixty-one.

If there is anyone of you reading this that feel an emptiness or incapable of doing what you know you are to do that brings glory to God, through this self-examination I’ve learned the answer.  If you have said “no” many times and still feel that life is just “stuck”, no flow, I know what the road block is; SELF.  Once removed the flow begins!  He was there, He is there.  Let go and live a life of freedom and fullness because of His faithfulness!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”  Proverbs 3:5

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  Jeremiah 29:11-13

Thursday, July 9, 2015


It’s a new day; another day of choices to make.

Although “happy” is my favorite word in the English dictionary there are still days when I am either so sad that that word doesn’t even exist or I wish it away on purpose while drowning in my self-pity.  Happy is just a word but how I use it becomes my world; my day.

During Briley Faith’s 61 days with us, pushing through the choice of darkness to light was a difficult journey.  Many times… oh so many times, I wanted to curl up and cry for my granddaughter, my angel eyes; for my children and grandson; for me.   By starting my day choosing to be clothed in “self” I learned is a risk that leads to unhappiness.  I have walked out my front door dressed “to the tee” of “self” thinking and ready to take on the day only to find that “self” came home weak, depressed and not loving life; happy-less

Here I am again… today.  Reflecting on the past isn’t bad when it is used for our good today.  My today is dimmed by circumstances.  So, sitting on the front porch step I know I have to push through my thinking and take every thought captive for Christ.  Do you hear God?  Push.  Do you see Him? Press on. Focus on Him and not me.  Be still, seek Him... listen... wait patiently and He will arrive in a breathtaking way. Push harder.  He is near.  Then suddenly, my focus on my circumstances becomes faith in His character and once again, my answer, my calm, MY MORNING WITNESS arrives; I’m surrounded by God’s light, God’s promises.  His winds partner with the leaves of the trees; a dance of grace.  All the birds of hope are as a bow to a violin; gentle notes created from the freedom of the flight.  My smile, not painted, but real--upon my heart is revealed outwardly.  Then, laughter expels as I'm now inside standing, looking out my door when one of God's beauties, a Hummingbird, suddenly approaches me as if fluttering a "Hello".  God is speaking, “DANCE, SING, LAUGH!  Put your HAPPY on!”  I’m so thankful for those reminders that GOD'S GOT THIS day, too!

Are you resting on the clouds of doubt and living in rain of self-pity?  Have you, like I have before, allowed the world or other people’s choices to affect your happiness?  The word is happy.  The “Happy-Maker” is Christ.  The choice is yours.

Put you happy on!

Proverbs 16:20 “He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.”

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


October 11, 2012; the day God gave us our granddaughter, Briley Faith.  The delivery waiting room was filled with excitement and anticipation!  There was no indication or any preparation for what the “room of waiting” would become; a place of daily wait for 61 days.   We now wait for the day to see her again when God calls us all to our heavenly home where we wait no more.

Briley Faith, this precious angel on earth was born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy/Type 0, the most severe.  When we found out she would never come home, well home here, it was a devastating, heart hurting, hope grasping day.  Loud excitement turned to silence in prayer.  In that silence we gave it all to God; He heard us in that very dark hour.  In an instant our heads were lifted, hearts healed and hope restored.  Josh, my son and Briley’s daddy would remind us all, “God’s got this!”  Faith strengthened through the pain, the dark hospital room became a tabernacle of praise, Briley Faith didn’t need her muscles to send His message, and lives were changed!

But, there were times I had wondered what if I had known I was carrying that SMA gene I might had passed on to Josh.  What if I had been tested years ago, Josh tested… what if we had known.  Then through many tears I had for Briley Faith, her mommy, daddy and big brother, I realized “what if” wasn’t in God’s plan.

God continues to remind me of His power plan of greatness, as He did today, as He did while we walked the Briley Faith journey and five years ago during one of my darkest hours… 

Every now and then as part of my daily reading, along with God’s word, I have enjoyed reading the book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.  A week ago today, a little note fell out from between the pages of this book I have read over the years and reminded me of God’s vast love for me… for you.

February 17, 2010.  I remember that day and never want to revisit where I was, where my mind was ever again.  I was not planning on going there, but I did.  Others I knew had been there.  But me?  How did I get to that place when I love to smile, make others smile and my favorite word is “happy”?

That day… 

Sitting in my car parked under some trees and away from the busyness of the building I worked in, like most days, I was having my lunch alone.  I really enjoyed my time in the quiet talking to Jesus, reading His word.  This particular day was a different “alone”.  Although I knew God was always with me, by choice I allowed my mind to shut His light out.  Life in my mind had become haunting and dark, a place of battle; I traveled it, my mind, alone on my own strengths, my way.  For a little while, I basked in self-pity.  To tell you the truth, it felt good to cry “Oh me.” Even though no one else heard, it didn’t matter. The self-pity was a temporary feel good.  No one knew where my mind lived for a while because I didn’t tell them.  My smile told a different story.  Some found out later; long after my despair, darkness, and a dead-end road of understanding why someone would contemplate death.  Yep, that was me.  Perky, positive, pleasant me turned negative; negative within my own self, negative meeting up with more negative and dark becoming darker.  Looking back, life really wasn’t that bad.  I had a good marriage, good church, good friends, good job.  But, I allowed life’s hurdles to take me to the edge.  This 3x5 card tucked away in this book fell out five years later as a reminder for me or for you today.

The writing on the card dated 2-17-10 reads, “What if I didn’t do anything for anyone.  I guess it would be as if I weren’t here to do anything for anyone.”

I remember my thoughts while writing those few words in that climatic moment, “If I stopped helping, encouraging and praying with and for others would I even be noticed?  I was hurting and why couldn’t they hear me?  I always heard them.  Why?”  Although I am geographically challenged, at that time in my state of self-mindedness I understood the way to loneliness, the way to emptiness, the way to darkness, the way to nothing.  Crippling thoughts; these thoughts became my illness; unable to breathe, out of tears, and out of words to pray.  My days consisted of a variety of “hits”; physical and financial blows, disappointment in others, loss of loved ones.  It was as if I was in the boxing ring with Satan.  Too tired to stand, down for the count… 

I camped out at the edge engulfed by “what ifs” for 30 days holding on to these words from that little devotional page dated February 17.  “Don’t try to force-fit today into yesterday’s mold.  Instead, ask Me to open your eyes, so you can find all I have prepared for you in this precious day of your life.”  For 30 days I held on to this verse…  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17; 30 days of hope.

Also written at the bottom right corner of this tattered and worn 3x5 card were the simple words, “But I’m gonna!” with the date 3-17-10.  My “what ifs” were in control until I finally let go and let God show me “what’s His”; as His child, that’s me!  Because I am His I could start new again! So, I changed my focus away from me and back to others as God intended.  I was standing again!  Standing on His promises and following His plan; a plan that does not include “what ifs” and healing began. 

Many of you reading this have been to that dark place like me and determined to never return by taking every thought captive for Christ; think His thoughts.  For some of you, part of your “what if” includes a “why”.  Your unanswered “why” has become a weight of despair.  Because you belong to God you can hang on to what you already know; His truth and faithfulness to His promises, your anchor of hope.  Choose Christ and allow His Way to take care of your “whys”.  Then, there are you who only know darkness because you have never experienced a relationship with Jesus Christ, The Light of the world; your only hope out of darkness.  Hell is full of “what ifs”.  Don’t be one who is saying, “What if I had said, “Yes, Jesus.  I know I’m a sinner and Your blood covers it all.  Please forgive me of all my sin and come into my heart.  I receive You as my personal Savior and become forever Yours.”  It’s time to let go and let God.

Let God have your “what ifs” and “whys”.  Choose today to live as what’s His!  

Friday, January 9, 2015

ROCK OF AGES "I Needed You then, I Need You Now"

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
let me hide myself in thee;
let the water and the blood,
from thy wounded side which flowed,
be of sin the double cure;
save from wrath and make me pure.

God never changes.  He is still THE ROCK.  The cleft; my hiding place. His precious blood, covers my sin; a daily need.  Oh how I need that Rock! 

You know, I, Briley’s Granna, never thought how much I would learn of the greatness and vastness of that cleft, that blood, that cure… until then.  Until, October 11, 2012 when she was born, never taking a breath on her own.  Until December 11, 2012 when she entered her heavenly home.

Not the labors of my hands 
can fulfill thy law's commands; 
could my zeal no respite know, 
could my tears forever flow, 
all for sin could not atone; 
thou must save, and thou alone.
During that time we reached the point where the labor of the hands of the doctors, the effectiveness of the monitors, machines and medicines did not give hope.  No matter how much the family and I tried to learn of this terrible disease, Spinal Muscular Atrophy that Briley was diagnosed with, no matter how hard the trained minds and hands worked that cared for our precious angel, our zeal did not meet up with rest.  We pressed on with what man had available.  I do have to say though that as a family, we did believe in what God could do from our own experiences of His faithfulness.  But, for me, I have to wonder, was the little light of doubt and screaming the “whys” my lack of belief in what He can and would do?  Tears and prayers.  I was stripped, I was clinging.  God alone was our salvation.  As soon as Josh and Crystal, Briley’s parents, began their total surrender to God, the greatest act of faith, God used it to flow not only to me, to the family, but also to thousands… rest was found.  Peace.  Not man.  Not ourselves.  Only God.  His peace was our daily substance.
Nothing in my hand I bring, 
simply to the cross I cling; 
naked, come to thee for dress; 
helpless, look to thee for grace; 
foul, I to the fountain fly; 
wash me, Savior, or I die. 
The cross, my anchor from sinking.  Stripped of only what the world provides...  Helpless in what I can do… I need You, I need You, oh how I need You.  Not just then, when my heart broke for my granddaughter, my son and his family.  But, now.  I need You now.  I need You today.  Forever.  Therefore, I must cling, I must let go, I must drink from Your fountain of grace, I must submit daily.  Briley Faith did.  Oh, my Father I want to be that!  Help me to do so!  Help me to honor You as she did!
While I draw this fleeting breath, 
when mine eyes shall close in death, 
when I soar to worlds unknown, 
see thee on thy judgment throne, 
Rock of Ages, cleft for me, 
let me hide myself in thee. 
Soon, my day will come.  That day.  The one we say we are ready for, but, are we really?  My soul is.  But… there’s that word.  But…some days when trouble comes or I dwell on the hurts of the world surrounding me, I want the Lord to come quickly.  Then there are days I know there is so much I need to do here, for others but most importantly for God and in that sense I’m not ready.  How can we be on fire to spread God’s faithfulness and grace and then the next day we choose to let the “daily” stop us in our tracks?  How can I let feeling helpless close my eyes to goodness still there?  You might be like me sometimes just wanting to hide in the cleft of the rock and rest.  Take an endless nap. But, you see, the cleft is for peace, protection, to rest and gain strength.  God’s plan for me, for you, must continue.  To receive the best He has for us here on earth we must follow Him, trust His ways.  We must wake up!  
“Faith is nothing but the purpose of the will resting on God’s Word, and saying:  I must have it.  To believe truly is to will firmly.~~ Andrew Murray

I sing this old hymn to my grandson, Reid while rocking him to a peaceful rest or just to soothe his little spirit.  Today it soothed my spirit.  God soothed my spirit.  The Rock of Ages, my hope.  My only hope.  

Thursday, December 11, 2014


“Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the Lord his God.”  Psalm 146:5

You know how they say that nothing surprises God?  Well, that is so true!  To tell you the truth, I think I had a hunch God was up to something at the close of my journey; and boy, I knew it was going to be good!  A smile was on the way!

I had closed my eyes many times within my 61 days before my departure to this indescribable palace of peace where worship is a constant and all is well!  But, when I closed my eyes on December 11, 2012 it was different; deliverance, a healing.  Although I was so excited to leave the monitors, tubes and all behind, I didn’t want to leave behind a sad mommy, daddy and big brother.  What made it easier is I knew God had something great coming their way!  Oh how I wanted to tell them!  So, God gave them comfort through the smile in my eyes.  Not only did He have a healing for me, but, for them, also.

 These last two years has been non-stop activity for me!  The beauty to see!  I've always loved big bows and bling but let me tell you, up here it is ridiculously amaaazing!  The rubies, the emeralds, the crystal sea!  I get to run on streets of gold and hear Gigi laughing as she watches Grandad Hunt dancing!  So much fun getting to see all those I didn’t get to meet there!  The incredible beauty makes me feel sometimes like I need to close my eyes; how could I be worthy of this AND eternal life?  So, with all of this before me, I’m looking here, looking there, dashing around every corner not to miss a thing!  Boy, it sure is good that around here we don’t run out of energy because with continual, “sincere-automatic” worship and checking out every detail of Heaven… the vast beauty… well, even Granna can’t describe it!  It’s just beauty beyond that keeps me busy!

I still love the girly stuff my mommy showered me with.  The precious jewels remind me of her and the angels singing, yeah that reminds me of her, too.  Anything I see that is red I think of my big brother, Jude cause he let me play with his little red truck and he played with the yellow one.  It was the perfect color; the blood of Jesus.  Jude is such a thinker with a deep love for Jesus and Jesus sure likes that!  Every time Jesus speaks it reminds me of daddy reading the Bible to me.  Here I am right here with the One daddy told me about!  How awesome is that?  Since I was gently carried here to my first and only home two years ago today, I have to say my home is perfect and all is well.  So, smile, cause I am.

As soon as I was let in on what my faithful Heavenly Father was up to, I jumped and shouted with excitement, “I’m going to have a baby brother!”  But, it wasn’t overwhelming joy for me, it was that I was so happy for my family!  Of course, I knew that little fella wouldn’t be as cute as me and there is NO WAY daddy would let him wear a bow, even pretending!  So, I will always be the bow princess in the Turner house!  My eyes twinkled with happiness like you’ve never seen on October 29, 2013 when my baby brother, Reid Silas Turner arrived, also in an “unknown”; a gift, a healing he will understand one day.  The way God gave him to us was without any doubt, with a peace, a transfer to arms of love; a home built where love shouts “God is our foundation, security and joy!”… a home built for my baby brother.

Daddy said it best when he said, “Faith is seeing God’s promises behind His commands.”  So you see, there has been healing for all of us; fulfilled promises!

I do want to thank you for remembering me.  Each time you speak my name, each time your heart breaks, each time I see you look to the sky with your hand held high and say “We love you, Briley Faith!”… I hear.  I see.

I am smiling and so should you.